Friday, July 23 2004 @ 09:06 PM EST
---===Holonet Journal Entry 586.6734GL==---
Today Emperor Palpatine's private compound on Naboo was without power for 5 hours due to a billing dispute. Apparently the computer records at Naboo Power and Light were corrupted by an unknown slicer. The records were altered to indicate the circuit belonged to one Ivan P. Freely and had not been paid in 3 years.
Several hours after the records were modified a maintenance program came upon the altered information and immediately cut power to the circuit. The Emperor's retreat is equipped with multiple backup power systems but these had apparently been sabotaged sometime after their last maintenance cycle. Consequently the compound was plunged into darkness immediately.
The Emperor was apparently in the middle of sensitive negotiations with a delegation from the Scruewe Nebula. The delegates became agitated when all lights in the conference hall went out and immediately attacked the Emperor and his Royal Guard.
Apparently in the dense Scruewe nebula, located deep in the core of the galaxy, they have no concept of night and mistook the lack of light as an attack. Unfortunately none of the delegates survived the confrontation. This information was obtained by questioning the station keeping crew of their orbiting starship. Negotiations are expected to resume once new delegates can be sent from the Scruewe government.
Emperor Palpatine was informed by General Ima Goober, the head of the security force at the compound, that the blackout was caused due to incorrect information at Naboo Power and Light combined with sabotage of the backup power supplies. When the Emperor questioned why the power had not been restored the General informed him that the droids at the fully automated NPL would only talk to the person they had on record as owning the property, Ivan P. Freely.
Outraged the emperor contacted the NPL head office, identified himself and insisted power must be restored to the compound at once. Unfortunately the slicer had added to the records that Ivan was prone to delusions of grandeur and would often impersonate the Emperor. Operating off this information the droids informed him that they would have to see verifiable Identification to reactivate the circuit.
The Emperor demanded to talk to the human supervisor of NPL, upon being informed that NPL was fully automated and had no human supervisor he asked for the name of the parent company. The droids responded Naboo Chemical and Gas.
The Emperor contacted NCG. He was informed that NCG was automated just like NPL and was instructed to contact their parent company Naboo Flora and Mineral.
Furious at this point the Emperor contacted NFM and was happy to learn that yes NFM did have a human operator, one Ivan P. Freely. Unfortunately he was on vacation and could not be reached. NFM does not have a parent company.
With few options left to him The Emperor headed to NPL to reactivate the circuit and straighten out this situation. The droids there greeted the Emperor and verified his hovercar license and Intergalactic Passport. They then informed him that they would also need to see his Birth Certificate as a third form of ID.
Boiling with rage the Emperor ordered his Birth Certificate from Naboo Central Records. The clerk there informed him that they could get a birth certificate to him in two weeks.
A quick visit by a squad of stormtroopers convinced the clerk to rush the order. The Emperor then presented the birth certificate to the NPL droids.
The droids then acknowledged that he was indeed the Emperor and reconnected the circuit as he requested. As he was leaving one of the droids requested that either the Emperor, or one of his guards, encourage Ivan P. Freely to pay his bill as it was still delinquent.
The Emperor used his Force powers at this point to electrify the droid causing it to cease functioning. "Add that to Ivan's bill" the Emperor said and left the NPL offices.
With power restored to his retreat the Emperor spent the rest of the day the compound's spa for relaxation and meditation.
Tripe D. Breaker
Naboo Planetary Reporter