Saturday, February 26 2005 @ 12:52 AM EST
Inside barracks 9113824 we find two stomtroopers polishing their armor.
TK-638 turns to TK-747 and asks "Why did you do it? You knew those Kungas had us outnumbered 10 to 1. What were you thinking?"
"Those Kungas were nothing but savages. They were only armed with sticks and stone knives. We should not have been in any danger."
"Not in any danger he says.... Did you stop to think that even the smallest of them is twice your size? That they have arms like tree trunks?"
"We had rifles. They had sticks. It should have been a cakewalk."
"Did you even stop to consider that their loincloths give them 67% better protection from blaster fire than our plastic suits... What is up with that anyway? Why do we have to wear this stupid armor that I swear only intensifies incoming fire?"
"Their loincloths... I should report you for talking ill of Standard Imperial Issue Equipment."
"Dude chill. Doesn't it bother you that every other piece of protective equipment out there turns your average Joe into some impervious superman while just a glancing shot to our armor will cause it to melt and run until it sticks to some exposed piece of skin? Man every time that happens I swear I loose 7 or 8 layers of skin pealing it off."
"Your pushing it mister. We are the best trained soldiers in the galaxy. Our armor has become an iconic symbol of the Empire. We represent the protection it brings to our people. The average citizen feels pride just catching a glimpse of us. Our armor is a shining beacon to those we protect."
"That is another thing. Why the heck are we parading around in shiny white armor? Seriously I'll bet a rebel sniper could nail one of us from 65 meters through dense foliage due to these 'shining beacons' we parade around in."
"For one thing it is tradition. The original clone troopers wore white armor. We are wearing the evolved form of that same armor."
"Yeah but their armor could shrug off blasts from Super Battle Droids ours will leave you with a serious burn from a CDEF pistol. I know I was shot once by some peasant and I couldn't sit for a week."
"I will ignore that. Also our armor allows us to present an intimidating presence in the field. Admit it nothing is more intimidating than watching row after row of storm troopers marching to the field of battle."
"Yeah... Intimidating.... Until the first person with a repeating blaster takes out five squads single handedly!"
"Alright that's it I am reporting you to *Zing* *Urk*"
"I told you the armor is useless..."